You've got mail: FOREVER Try our free trial CD and we'll mess up your computer real good. www.aol.com

Tophers Stuff Who is Topher and why does he have so much stuff? web.hep.uiuc.edu/home/cac

UGAAA Its just for stuffy rich people. Go screw yourself poor people! www.ugaaa.org

Did you know that earning a degree at the College of Perpendicular Logic is guaranteed to be (almost*) FREE?

* Compare our costs to other impressive colleges and universities:

College of P.Logic
........$ALMOST FREE

Harvard
........$100000000.00

Bob's Mail Order School
........$50.00

What a bargain!

Obligatory Welcome Paragraph

Welcome to the college, you have stumbled into the only college in the known universe devoted exclusively to the pursuit of higher learning from the basis of Perpendicular Logic (also and formerly known as Perpendicular Thinking).

Please take a few eons to look around our fine campus. You will find a wide assortment of learning activities for you to waste your time with. You are free to browse through the archives but in order to attend classes (a new requirement towards obtaining a degree) you must first enroll in them.

Yes! Earn a degree!

You can now earn a degree through the College of Perpendicular Logic, in a impressive assortment of areas. We offer a wide variety of degrees in the Novice, Quasi-, Sub-, and full Master catagories. See side bar for more information.

We offer degrees in such wonderful fields as Temporal Studies and Recreational Physics. Please visit our academic departments for more information on these and other exciting degrees we offer.

The College of Perpendicular Logic is fully accredited by the University Geometrica Association of Accrediting Accreditors a division of the Heuristic Syntactics Network: Cambridge Node (HSNCN), and as such this college only recognizes titles given out by this college (or another UGAAA school); no other institution in this quadrant has met the UGAAA stringent criteria for transcolegiate and/or atriculation recognition. And so, unfortunately, if you have a degree from another institution other than the College of Perpendicular Logic (or another UGAAA school) you cannot be addressed as a doctor until you have achieved degree status with us.

The only other institute of higher learning known to have been given the coveted high accreditation by UGAAA in the last thousand years was The College of Tangential Logic, now defunct.

After a long and arduous journey through the realm of Perpendicular Logic you may finally achieve doctoral status, and be eligable to recieve an official degree suitable for hanging in your favorite lavatory.

How to Get Started

First you must fillout the application form then you need to pass the entrance exam. Cheaters on the entrance exam will be reported to local organ donors programs as voluntary experimental subjects. After you pass the entrance exam you can then sign up to participate in classes.

Classes are an open enrollment format meaning you can join one at anytime. As soon as you earn your credits you can move on. Anyone, even non-students, are allowed to sit it on any class they wish. However only registered students my ask questions and submit papers for review.

Also it would be a good idea for those new to the college to read our FAQ.

Good news for online students. The college of Perpendicular Logic now offers round the clock admissions screening. We accept all students who pass the entrance exam (non-human species are welcome, robots are not).

Requirements for Admission

Beginning Students	(never taken our entrance exam)
Transfer Students	(be willing to unlearn everything you thought you learned before)
Continuing Education Students	(failed the entrance exam at least once)

Choose a Degree Program

Our best advice is don't set your heart on a particular degree just yet. Take as many classes as you want and feel like at the time. Once you have completed enough courses you can check and see if you have enough credits to get a degree.

If you do want to get a degree from scratch then take a look at the department homepage for which the degree you are interested in is located under. The department page will list the required classes.

We don't advocate the use of academic advisors since we're too busy having boring meetings most of the time. So you're pretty much on your own. Sorry.

Disclaimer: The College of Perpendicular Logic is not responsible for errors nor omissions of material fact or etherial hyperboles and expressly disclaims any knowledge to the contrary without specific regards to any means of communication known to man or theoretically possible. We are responsible for nothing, nowhere, nohow.

• N.A. [Novice of Arts]
• N.S.F. [Novice of Fine Science]
• Q.M.(PL) [Quasi-Master of Perpendicular Logic]
• Q.E.D [SubMaster of Ether] 
• E.M.(PL) [Master of Ether in Perpendicular Logic]
• R.E.M. [Secret Designation] 
• M.U. [Un-Master]

(1) In order for us to accept your institutions degree titling scheme you must accept our degree schemata as well.
(2) You must meet criteria number 2.
(3) You must pass a physical endurance exam consisting of walking backwards through the desert on a Saturday afternoon.
(4) Your parents must pass a wallet test.