College of Perpendicular Logic Announcements

Computer Crash
2006-11-27
There was a crash of the VAX / PDP 11 tandem servers which were hosting some of the databases currently in use. We lost several years worth of class forum activity and PL News Logic Updates. But we are working feverishly to restore what we can from old tape backups.

The cause of the crash is unknown but suspected to be related to a missing sandwich from the lunch room. Sanders we're watching you...
CPL-IT and Computing Services

Subject: Election Day Work Policy
2006-11-03
It is the policy of the College to encourage every employee, staff member, and student of legal immigration status to exercise his/her/its civic responsibilities. The following provisions comply with state law regarding election days.

9.03 In Agloe, the polls are open from 4:00 a.m. to 7:00 a.m. which gives old man McGrudger time to feed his cows before opening the general store polling station.

9.032 Unusual circumstances may arise, however, where employees and/or staff members will not have adequate time to vote before or after work. Students will be allowed to cut class in order to vote only for College approved candidates otherwise they will need to vote on their own time. In former cases, the following guidelines shall apply to non-union employees and staff:

(a). Non-exempt (hourly) employees wishing to take additional time off from work without pay must provide their supervisor with a urine sample at least 24 hours with advance notice of their intention to do so. Exempt (salaried) employees must likewise give notification, but must be paid for the time to urinate.

(b). Adminstrators must allow the staff member up to a maximum of two (2) hours to urinate, either at the start or end of the employee's or staff members scheduled workday. The supervisor has the right to specify which part of the workday is authorized in order to provide adequate coverage.
Office of Holidays and Foreign Travel

Columbus Day Haunted House
2006-10-11
LAKE PTARMIGIN --

The dilapidated steamship that used to call Agloe its home may have found a new job frightening and humiliating students for generations.

The three-story, 197-foot Ste. Marie, which is still docked at Lake Ptarmigin, has recently been used as a Columbus day haunted house and could soon get another chance at restoration and use for dining, parties and cruises. Don Magoo, 79, of Broomfeld Valley, and his company are in the final stages of acquiring the boat from the College Disposal Department.

"I'm sure it will make me alot of money," Magoo told the Daily Fruit. "But it's more than that. I want to bring the other boats back from Spain too, from where they belong to where other people can pretend to
enjoy them more."

Magoo, a freelance anthropologist who is associate director of the Custer Memorial Assylum's extensive care unit, said his childhood was filled with nightmares of Columbus pilliging the Native American's on trips to Canada's Boblo Island amusement park, where he spent summers dancing, picnicking and riding roller coasters.
Daily Fruit Staff

Welcome to College Students
2006-08-20
Welcome to a new fall term/semister/quinister (depending on your dimension) at the College of Perpendicular Logic. This past summer has been a very uneventful and exciting time for the staff and undocumented workers alike. Much has happened since last spring when the campus was shut down due to a false fire alarm scare.

Please notice many sharp improvements to the web interface and please ignore any trans temporal interference. (The webserver is hosted in a room next to a temporal physics lab and occationally gets bits of future webpages mixed up with its own true bits as relating to the webpage...)
Sir Josephson