GROORG!

Abstact: In order to fully understand the true import of what will be of coherent understanding upon the topic of this paper, namely the explination of the phenomenon commonly know as the Groorg effect, it must be pre-presented in an abstract format such as this.

Dedication: This paper is dedicated to the DOD (Department of Dirt).

Contents: GROORG (also known by Groorg) is a palindromic acronym created by removing the "dot" from the first URL by which an .org first level domain name becomes a palindrome.

GROORG:(G)umshoe (R)aw (O)n n(O)-wa(R)e, oh smu(G)!

Let us now disect this acronym so that the paper can then, logically, begin to analyze the topic which it is about. First take "(G)umshoe". Once thought to be a primitive tribe living in the South American rain forests, the "Gumshoe" indians proved once and for all that they were indeed the first ethnic group to distill larks vomit in a coconut shell thereby disproving the mistaken notion that they were primitive, until it was proved in 1942 by Drs. Bertandski and Butufulz that the "Gumshoe" name was taken completely out of context by a confused and deranged 17th century pirate turned accountant named In-the-redbeard, who accidentaly came upon the "Gumshoe" indians while his mouth was full of crackers, and while attempting to warn them of impending doom, in the form of a llama, which he'd never seen before, and which was sneaking up behind the indians, he tried to mouth the words "lookout!" which was later misinterpreted by British Philo-historian Miles O'Chamber in 1833 as "Gumshoe", despite the fact that the indians wear flat plates of leather on their feet attached with a gummy resin secreted by the plant echitrop dufus of the eucaliptys family.

"(R)aw" is the last word of Rome co-founder Remus as he lay on his death-slab. Apparently he was attempting to call over his twin half-brother and also co-founder of Rome, Romulus, but couldn't remember his name. The relevance of this in the Groorg acronym is not as obvious as it was for the "gumshoe" incident (A futher exploritory hypothesis reveals that an unknown quantity W has infultrated the Varible Storage Facility located somewhere on Long Island New York, and replaced the value of W with the values of today's Republican party. As a result, "Ramifications", which was the original (R) in GROORG has been replaced by "Raw sewage" or "Raw" for short).

"(O)n" is a preposition which comprises the last two letters of itself and the word cruton. What do you put ON a salad? Crutons.

"n(O)-wa(R)e" refers to software term for any product which takes up no memory or harddrive space what-so-ever, and since GROORG is not, much to the displeasure of the SPA, a software product, a no-ware designation is aptly applied in this case.

"oh-smu(G)!" is not the random, obscure phrase of an over-worked sleeping attendant (as touted by certain visiting professors from Compton) but, in fact (and fiction), a simple typographical error caused by the palindronic compilation generator on GROORG's home-server.

The Theory: Once a super hyperbolic asymtotic vector (SHAV) reaches the point of cohesion with the cartesean substrate a recursive zero-point field is created. By plotting the timebased projections of GROORG's propagation as said super hyperbolic asymtotic vector (SHAV) encounters the fifth node(e) being the "breakout" point we arrive at chaotic envelope wave (ChEW) as the SHAV becomes cohesive at e. SHAV-e then becomes an emergent phenomenon that tends to ChEW.

Conclusion: Don't try to ChEW your food while SHAV-eing.

Dr. Macy PL.D
20 March 1996