MEMORANDUM TO: ALL DEPARTMENTS (INTERNAL)
CLASSIFIED: For General Staff Distribution
RE: Campus Map Attached Map (pdf)

To All Administrative Departments:
My fellow staff, I am pleased to announce in conjunction with my colleagues on the CTRCC and in the ORM, the issuing of the first certified Campus Map since 1978. We realize the undue delay in the formulation and approval of a contemporary survey has been a great strain upon all those offices who rely upon our survey maps to conduct College business, and has resulted in much tardiness and missed classes for wandering students and faculty. We are therefore relieved to be able to publish the attached document at last, bearing the appropriate survey stamp to attest its authenticity.

You will find one (1) copy posted in the primary department office of each administrative building.

FUTURE RELEASES

  • A large mural installation is already in the process of installation in the history niche in the lobby of Logic House. Watch for notice of the unveiling ceremony!
  • Academic departments will receive one certified copy for each department head.
  • Common distribution in the form of Campus Tour Books and the student orientation chapter of the 2001-2002 College Course Catalog.

    ORDERS
    Following all of these planned releases, the survey will once again be available for ordering from the ORM. Please direct your queries directly to the Survey Publisher's desk and allow 6-8 months for delivery. The waiting list is lengthening due to the large proportion of graduating students who provided such excellent work during last year's Manual Lithography & Ornamentation class.

    PLAGIARISM & FAKES
    Those of you who have been on staff since the last survey publication remember the despicable speed with which that survey was copied and pirated in great quantities. This matter has received the greatest attention, in part causing the long delay between survey uypdates. The most strenuous penalties will be applied to anyone producing, purveying, or willfully possessing an uncertified map. Every effort has been made this time to prevent such spurious materials from being distributed, but buyer beware! The Survey Publisher will never charge more than $294.00 (US) for a certified 7" x 7.6" laminated imprint of the current survey, and genuine ORM/DOI maps always bear the correct hand-applied legally negotiable stamp in the appropriate corner.

    If you are offered a so-called Campus Map at a bargain price, make a Citizen's Arrest, seize the perpetrator and the spurious document(s) and proceed posthaste to the nearest Campus Information Kiosk for further instructions. We cannot be responsible for persons, vehicles, or property lost and/or misdirected as a result of using uncertified (and usually incorrect!) College cartographical documents.

    Thank you for your patience while we revised, corrected, and updated the Campus Map.

    -Dr. Saint, PL.D, Chairman of the 2001 Campus Topographical Record Conference Committee for the Office of Roads and Maps, Dept. of the Interior College of Perpendicular Logic

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