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Degree Policies
Lost diplomas.
The holder of any degree may secure a replacement diploma upon application to the Sub-secretary of the College, under the following conditions:
(1). The guilty party shall submit a statement on a 3x5 card regarding the loss of the original diploma to the Sub-secretary.
(2). One year shall have elapsed since the loss of the original diploma even if fire, flood, shipwreck, pyroclastic flow or other disaster destroyed the diploma.
(3). The applicant shall agree to return the replacement diploma to the Sub-secretary in the event the we decide you are unworthy.
(4). The replacement diploma shall bear the word "Ignoramus."
(5). The applicant shall pay to the College of Perpendicular Logic the equivalent cost in coffee beans of producing the replacement.
Name changes.
Diplomas may be issued with a changed name under the following conditions:
(1). The applicant shall submit the diploma with the former name to the Sub-secretary.
(2). The applicant shall submit a photocopy of the traffic ticket embarrassing the holder of the name to the Sub-secretaries nephew.
(3). The new diploma shall contain, in the lower margin (in pig-latin): "This diploma replaces one previously issued. See statement on reverse."
(4). The applicant shall agree to pay to the College of Perpendicular Logic the equivalent of two camels for reproducing the replacement.
Certificates of humiliation.
(1). A certificate of humiliation, in a design approved by the Sub-secretaries cat and bearing the Colleges’s seal, may be issued to any
degree holder upon application to the Sub-secretary and provision of a free lunch.
(2). An applicant who requests that the certificate be issued in a legally changed name shall submit a linotype copy of the legal documents used by
the applicant in which the legal change of name was thrown out of court.
(3). The applicant shall pay to Yale University the cost of producing the replacement.
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The List of Degrees Offered
This list is subject to change without notice.
Students enrolled in a discontinued degree program will
be automatically re-enrolled in the degree program
immediately preceeding it on the list at the time of its
removal. Students are encouraged to check this list
often to make sure they are still in the program they
originally signed on for.
School of Logic and Philosophy
Dept. of Perpendicularity
Perpendicular Logic N.S.F, Q.M(PL), E.M(PL), PL.D
Philosophy of Philosophy N.A.
Something Studies Certificate of Completion
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School of Fine Arts
Dept. of Semantic and Ruminative Performance
Semantic Performance N.A.
Ruminative Performance Q.M.(FARP)
Dept. of Aquatic Arts
Underwater Basketweaving cc NEW!
Dept. of Generic Arts
Functional Artistics N.A.
Mass Art Q.M.(PL)
Dept. of Antiquties and Objects of Dubious Origin
Dubious AppraisalsN.A. NEW!
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School of Liberal Arts
Dept. of Mass Communications
Bulk Communications N.A.
Random Communications N.A.
Dept. of Interspatial Transmissions
Contraposition cc
Office of the Yearbook
History and Philosophy of Yearbook Studies cc NEW!
Dept. of Tangible Debates ALL NEW!
Argumentation cc
Team Hazing N.A.
Pensmenship N.A., Q.M.(PL)
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School of Conservative Arts
Office of Edicts
Bureaucracy Q.E.D., M.U.
Business MoronityQ.M.(PL)
Stupidity R.E.M., PL.D
Rudeness cc NEW!
Dept. of Social Studies
Human Studies for Robots N.S.F
Misbehavioral Studies N.S.F.
Domestic Economies cc
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School of Mathematics
Dept. of Numerical Revision
Nothing
Dept. of Applied Mathematics
Chromomathematics N.S.F., E.M.(PL)
Dept. of Computational Sequencing
Counting cc
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College of Physical Science
School of Applied Kinetics
Recreational Physics N.S.F., Q.E.D., M.U.
School of Temporal Studies
Temporal Studies N.S.F., E.M.(PL), R.E.M.
School of Transpacial Studies
Perpendicular Dimensions Q.M.(PL), E.M.(PL), PL.D
microAstrophotology N.S.F. NEW!
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College of Engineering
School of High Technology
Extra-Terrestrial Technology cc, N.S.F., Q.M.(PL)
Weather Control Q.E.D.
Underground Engineering cc, N.S.F.
Solar Engineering cc, N.S.F., M.U.
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Yes! Earn a degree!
Get Started Today!
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THE COLLEGE OF PL DEGREE DECLENSION
Novice Ranking and Lower
cc [Certificate of Completion]
N.A. [Novice of Arts]
N.S.F. [Novice of Fine Science]
Master Ranking and so forth
Q.M.(PL) [Quasi-Master of Perpendicular Logic]
Q.E.D [SubMaster of Ether]
E.M.(PL) [Master of Ether in Perpendicular Logic]
R.E.M. [Secret Designation]
M.U. [Un-Master]
Doctor Ranking and Higher
PL.D [Doctorate of Perpendicular Logic]
Prefixes: H-Honorary,P-Pending
Credit Hour Classification:
0-30 Freshperson
31-60 Softsmore
61-90 Janitor
91-up OSITM (Old stick in the mud)
Letter Grade Equivalents
A - Acceptable (+4)
B - Better than a complete idiot (+3)
C - Causual Knowledge (+2)
D - Deficient but good enough for government work (+1)
E - Excellent understand for a moron (0)
F - Forget it (-1)
G - Great amounts of sarcasim (-5)
GPA formula
SUM
(CRc / CRa) x Lf
+ rand()
Translation:
the total number of completed hours divided by the total number of attempted credit hours
multiplied by letter grade equivalent factor summed over all courses plus a random factor
renormalized each quinister.
Hierarchy of Organizational Categorizations
Geographical Scope
University
- College
- - School
- - - Department
- - - - Office
- - - - - Closet
Temporal Scope
Congress
- Bureau
- - Board
- - - Committee
- - - - Panel
- - - - - Commission
- - - - - - Task Force
- - - - - - - Study
- - - - - - - - Group
- - - - - - - - - Team
- - - - - - - - - - Unit
- - - - - - - - - - - Sub-Unit
Methods of Accruing Credits
Successfully complete coursework
Win the monthly lottery
Tutor less intelligent students
Gamble your credits at the illegal underground casino
Extra credit for menial tasks around campus
Successfully complete prize tasks
Prize Tasks
100 credits - first student to document the
President of the United States acknowledging the
existence of the College
100 credits - getting the rightful domain
name of the College returned
20 credits - having a published interview
in which your status as a student of the College is
discussed (non-internet) (bonus 5 credits
if it mentions you are doing the interview
for credits)
15 credits - independently inventing
a time machine
10 credits - developing a cure
for farting
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