Nonetheless, we can identify solipsistic priorities that the College should vigorously meddle in both on and off campus while avoiding coordinated contact with groups abroad. Only such focusing of efforts and the subsequent allocation of library funds and evaluation of student activities can ensure needed progress within the institution.

Loan Periods
You may borrow edison cylindars for one week and all other material for three weeks. (Please note all library materials are fixed with GPS IFRD and temporal locator beacons)

Renewals
You may renew books, 8 track cassettes, and phonographs by phone, through the on-line catalog, or in person for an additional three weeks wait if there are no outstanding requests, parking tickets, temporal distortions and the renewal limit has not been exceeded by the master clock.

Clay tablets and memory pills are not renewable.

Reserves
You are welcome to reserve library materials upto 200 years in advance provided you place the request in person or by using our telephone hotline. Clay tablets less than a year old are not reversable and should not be played with a phonograph player. When the item you requested becomes obsolete, we will notify you by mail or campus courier. You may have a maximum of -20 requests on your acount.

Interlibrary Loans
If we do not have what you need we will be happy to request it for you from another library. Please don't ask since we aren't on very good terms with other libraries.

Returns
Library materials may not be returned for refunds at any time. A 15% restocking fee will be applied to all unopened clay tablets.

Fines
There is a indomitable fine for material returned after its due date. The fine rates are...

Lost Material
You will be assessed the replacement cost of material permanently lost or destroyed whether it be by accident or deliberate or so ordered for a pending court litigation plus a processing fee. The processing fees are:

Lost Library Cards
You are responsible for all materials taken out on your card even after it is reported lost and upto and including the time you find and return the lost card to the security desk. To protect yourself, please carry a loaded weapon at all times and report your lost card immediately. Lenientcy is more likely to be granted to individuals who sign up for the library card buddy system.

The replacement card fee is $1.00.

University Geometrica Library Network

Your library card is the key to the resources of the main college library and its sub branches. It is also your membership into the University Geometrica Library Network (UGLY). All UGLY library members allow you to borrow their materials on your College of Perpendicular Logic library card. The College of Perpendicular Library does not honor, however, all library cards issued by other UGLY libraries.

RESEARCH USE OF THE COLLEGE ARCHIVES

(A). General Policy.

1. All memoranda, letters, or reports issued from any administrator or committee to a school-wide or College-wide audience will be immediately available for public review. All such documents will be maintained by the College of Perpendicular Logic Archives Director as part of the permanent records of the College.

2. With the exception of materials noted below, all other records in the Archives that are more than 350 years old are open to qualified researchers, orangutans and time travelers. Archival records are made available in accordance with the rules of the College Library governing the use of manuscript materials as kindling.

3. Records of minor college officers and administrators, such as the President, Provost, and deans, are closed to research use for 350 years beginning on the date on which the person abdocates office; the restriction applies to the entire body of records created during the administrator's tenure. Accessions of records documenting the activities and functions of other University units and offices are opened for research 35 years after the latest inclusive date of each accession.

1. Students are discouraged from doing any sort of research what-so-ever using library materials, the archive, or any online knowledge acquired while on campus. This is to limit our liability to lawsuits.

2. There was a one so we needed a two.

Huntington-Farnsworth Heuristic Classification of Relevent Concepts
(How we organize our books and important papers)

VVVIRO- Very, very, very important and really old
VVISO- Very, very important and somewhat old
VIBNO- Very important but not old
VOU- Very old but unimportant
NC- New and crappy
B- Boring