Abstract
Please note this links to an external paper not expressly written towards a thesis at this college but was submitted on a 'for rewiew only' basis. We total dis-avow any knowledge whatsoever that this may incur.
http://www.physics.nyu.edu/faculty/sokal/transgress_v2/transgress_v2.html

Abstract
The problem of computing the escape velocity of the Earth away from itself, at sea level, is considered. A quick logical analysis shows the question to be insoluble, and very silly. The solution is then obtained through a series of perpendicular arguments and assertions. The escape velocity of the Earth is found to equal the speed of sound in a black hole.
http://www.perpendicular.us/archive/papers/escape.htm

Abstract
Since Reality is Overrated and the unrecognized dissertation is underway I submit that new faculty postions should be opened for adjuct professors who profess to nothingness. Therefore I submit that what has been submitted be accepted and ignored subsequent to granting of excessive degrees and privileges to myself.
http://www.perpendicular.us/archive/papers/carter1.htm

Abstract
Please note this links to an external paper not expressly written towards a thesis at this college but was submitted on a 'for rewiew only' basis. We total dis-avow any knowledge whatsoever that this may incur.
http://www.fudco.com/chip/deconstr.html

Abstract
There has been or will have been at least one banana for everyday of history and as such the events of that day are recorded (encoded) into that particular banana.
http://www.perpendicular.us/archive/papers/bht.htm

Abstract
One can only conclude that in fact two equals three and this paper is about cabbage. And fortunately that creates another paradox, simply by being considered by the reader, which cleanly cancels the first premise and so no paradox exists.
http://www.perpendicular.us/archive/papers/cabbage.htm

Abstract
In order to fully understand the true import of what will be of coherent understanding upon the topic of this paper, namely the explination of why this abstract is so similar in nature to other abstracts, it must be pre-presented in an abstract format such as this.
http://www.perpendicular.us/archive/papers/geo.htm

Abstract
The Theory: Once a super hyperbolic asymtotic vector (SHAV) reaches the point of cohesion with the cartesean substrate a recursive zero-point field is created. By plotting the timebased projections of GROORG's propagation as said super hyperbolic asymtotic vector (SHAV) encounters the fifth node(e) being the "breakout" point we arrive at chaotic envelope wave (ChEW) as the SHAV becomes cohesive at e. SHAV-e then becomes an emergent phenomenon that tends to ChEW.
http://www.perpendicular.us/archive/papers/groorg.htm

Abstract
...be shorted than this same super long title that contains big words like puerperal and trancesndental not because the author doesn't know their meaning but only so that this title can become ever larger and more absurd and so the author can get more money because he gets paid by the amount of capital letters in his papers unlike most sain people who just happen to write but actually make their money by figureing out why...
http://www.perpendicular.us/archive/papers/lt.htm

Abstract
"What if paradoxs existed?" sceptics claim, but the very fact that this document exists attesting to the contrary is proof enough that they do not. In fact, a paradox, if it's worth its weight in philosophers (and they tend to be a heavy lot) must be self referencial and definately this paper does not, not that anyone was claiming that it was, which should prove it to not to be such.
http://www.perpendicular.us/archive/papers/paradox.htm

Abstract
Abstact: In order to fully understand the true import of what will be of coherent understanding upon the topic of this paper, namely the explination of why this abstract is so similar in nature to other abstracts, it must be pre-presented in an abstract format such as this.
http://www.perpendicular.us/archive/papers/prinplog.htm

Abstract
Please note this links to an external paper not expressly written towards a thesis at this college but was submitted on a 'for rewiew only' basis. We total dis-avow any knowledge whatsoever that this may incur.
http://pdos.csail.mit.edu/scigen/rooter.pdf

Abstract
This means that an electric company can sell a customer the same batch of electricity thousands of times a day and never get caught, since very few customers take the time to examine their electricity closely. In fact, the last year any new electricity was generated was 1937.
http://www.perpendicular.us/archive/papers/lectric.txt